Its true. Sometimes things get so bad i just want to disappear from existence. Life throws a lot of shit at you and God knows i'm not the strongest of people because there's a limit to how much a human being can take. I really wish things were different for all of us. I wish my family wasn't so broken up. Yeah, we might seem normal but that's only face value. Never judge a book by its cover right, that's what they say. I miss the times i could go a day without fighting with my dad. I miss the times i would see my mom because now i feel like she's missing. I'm close to my sis to an extent. I don't know how much she really cares for me but i hate it when she leaves because i feel so alone. I'm beginning to wonder if they would even care if something happened to me. I hate how i'm never able to open up to people, even when they ask me what's wrong. Instead i pretend like everything's alright. Throw them off scent by saying something ridiculous or changing the subject. But then again hardly anyone i know lends any of the two ears God gave them, so why bother. Okay maybe a partially deaf ear, but then again their shoulders are off limits. So what's the point? I might as well confide in my wall. Then i chance upon people like you who act like you're their everything one minute and then on to the next person. The kind of people who say they "love" you, act like they care about your problems, you put your trust in and then they're gone. Its ridiculous that people you trust the most are so fucking temporary. I don't like people who throw the word love around. If you love me, you love me for my flaws, you don't go running the second you find out i HAVE them. You love me even if i roll down a fucking hill and cripple myself. You love me even if someone puts a bullet in my face and half of it is gone. How many people can actually tolerate that?
There's only one person who really meant it and as far as i know, she's not here.
Oh boy, i need to vent this negative energy somewhere else. I wish school would start faster so i won't think so much. Okay nevermind, i think i'll put it into more running. That way i'll let off steam and get fitter. Two birds one stone- awesome. I'm going to disappear for awhile. I need a break anyway. I'll still be on twitter and tumblr though if you bother with my life.
