honestly

hi guys
so im guessing most of you know what happened already
if you dont, you probably dont need to
i wont state anything as i respect the persons privacy
and the interwebz isn't exactly the most subtle place
but it really made me reflect on my life
the way i've always disregarded it, the people who are part of it,
the ridiculous, bloody fucking stupid things i've done to hurt some of these people
and the things i haven't done for other people

if i could apologise to all the people i've hurt,
no matter how embarrassing and ego-bruising it may be,
i'd do it because you never know if you will get the chance to again
and if the chance presents itself, there's one person i'd like to apologise to
so damn badly that my conscience and guilt is feeding on every inch of my brain
and if it doesn't, i'll just learn from my mistakes, grow up and never do it again
never ever ever to anyone in this life or any other
swear to god

that came out as dog
okay not funny

"love your enemies, life's too short"

condolences to friends and family of the particular person
and just know that you can't control everything and it isn't any one of your faults
and you know she wouldn't want to see you in such a distraught state
even though i didnt know her well personally, it still really affects me
as i've seen her around many times
its just so shocking to the point you don't want to believe anything anymore

and to D, i don't know what's going on but just know that S and i will
always be around for you if you need a listening ear
and don't resort to anything rash ever, ever, ever
no matter how much of an "escape" it may seem like, it never is
not to the people who love you

and lastly to You,
you've been a great friend and someone whom i'd truly have feelings for
but its just not worth getting upset and dreading life
over someone who may or may not be there for you in the future
but i can honestly say i enjoyed the time we spent together
and would love to keep in touch despite everything that's happened in the last few months
i'll put everything behind me :)

sigh, what a solemn post
if i start talking about shopping now will you think im nuts?
okay no im kidding
but i meant every word i said up there for real
alright, its 4:12am
i need to wait for the little one to get back before i can sleep
im off to go untraumatize myself
goodbye